Front facing camera picture quality sucks. However, this post really has nothing to do with that.
I’ve recently become aware of how direct I have become when dealing with many things. Someone jokingly told me that I should beat around the bush more. Maybe I should, but I also appreciate the value of being true to your intentions.
Which brings me to what I really wanted to talk about. I appreciate it when someone shares their unadulterated thoughts. Be it voicing out an opinion or telling a secret, I put people who are direct with expressing themselves in high regard.
This is not to say that I am an advocate of being straightforward 24/7. I am not. I believe that everything should be done in moderation, and this includes conveying our intentions through what we speak. Life would be pretty boring if masks and sarcasm didn’t exist.
Not sure what I’m talking about anymore.
Apparently, she finds it funny when I sweat while eating spicy things.
I have a bad habit of gauging my personal achievements by comparing it to the people surrounding me. As someone who just recently graduated and has no job prospects, let alone plans for higher education anytime soon, I look at myself and wonder what I’ve been doing these past few years.
Some of my peers are going to med school and graduate school this fall, some have jobs, and I’m just sitting here masturbating. Too much fun and free time makes me think about the stuff I’m not doing.
If I learned anything from Japan, it is this: I want to be able to work hard towards something, then go on a vacation feeling like I’ve earned it. This was the case for Japan, and I hope it’ll be the same for next time.
Maybe it’s the carefree summer unnerving my usual self. I’m a person who tends to work hard and finds self-purpose when a deadline or a certain set of standards have to be met. Without anything dictating my actions, I tend to ponder a lot about how I should be productive and what I should be doing towards achieving that goal. This is a bad habit I want to get rid of. I want to be able to have a sense of importance in everything I do, regardless of how significant (or insignificant) that task may be.
I don’t want to go on a vacation with a self-defeating mindset that says that I should be doing something more productive than taking a break. Good thing is, it only happens at the end of my breaks. I guess it’s really just my brain telling me to man the fuck up and get back to work. Everyone has their own responbilities, after all.
I’m not a fan of taking pictures without people in them. The reason being that I want to look at the photographs that I have taken when I grow older and remember the fond memories I’ve made with the people in these pictures. I don’t like taking photos of something I can look up online, and then regret not being able to capture the people I care about, right at that moment in time.
This brings me to another point. Being the person looking through the lens of the camera is in itself an interesting venture, as it both incites inspiration and depression. It is wonderful to see how the people in the pictures you’ve taken have grown - whether pictures from years apart are being compared, or simply how friendships have grown over a trip. Being this firsthand observer fills me with unparalleled joy, as every picture I take represents a milestone in my relationships and experiences.
On the other hand, my own selfishness brings with it a sort of emptiness when I find myself missing in important photographs. Feelings of being left out of the experience in that moment in time surface and hit me square in the face. What I do find, however, is that I enjoy looking at pictures I’ve taken even though I am not in them myself more than actually being in the pictures. I take pride in being able to claim that I was responsible for capturing a moment (however significant or insignificant it may be) in the lives of people who are important to me. I enjoy seeing how everyone has grown as individuals and where life has taken us to be able to capture such great photographs.
Here’s for more to come.
A 22nd Birthday
I wanted to wait until I got back home so I could visit you first, but I couldn’t help it after listening to this song. Happy Birthday Elvis, I hope you’re doing all right wherever you are.
I remember the first time you introduced me to DCFC. It was when we all went to Six Flags one summer and we ended up being seatmates for the trip back home. I remember making you listen to all my Owl City music as you made me listen to your DCFC playlist. I was mesmerized by this track, specifically, and have listened to it since whenever I reminisce about the past.
I’ve kept my promise since then and have listened to DCFC outside of that one song, and they’re an amazing band.
Cheers dude. I miss you.
I just now realized the reason why I have never been motivated to personalize my own private space: I’ve never had one. Thinking back on it, I’ve never had a room to myself. In fact, all these shared rooms had no locks, either.
That picture there represents the bulk of what I’d consider personal stuff. Books from school and some grooming materials. Sure, I have other things scattered in my room, but what’s on and in the drawer consists of 90% of what I own.
I never developed a good grasp on the concept of improving a room for the sake of my own sanity. This is a good observation, because I only see my room as a place to sleep in or find a change of clothes. Now that I’ve gotten a laptop, I don’t even find myself gaming in my room all that much. I tend to move my setup to the living room when no one is there and have at it. It is sad to say, but I’m not even a fan of changing in my room, as there would usually be someone in it and suddenly, the prospect of being free from clothes for a moment does not sound so appealing.
Even though it may seem like I am claiming that sharing a room does not foster building a place to call my own, this is not really always the case. I have a friend who shares a room with his brother (though I am not sure if that’s how it has always been for them), but yet, he and his brother successfully set their room up in such a way that half of it personifies one and another half, the other. I guess this is just a matter of preference and something that is treated on a case-by-case basis.
I get thrilled at the prospect of having my own room. In some cases, I’ve often found myself daydreaming of what it would look like: shiny, hardwood floors, with one wall occupied by a gigantic white board, another with some posters and canvasses and a third wall outfitted with a perfectly-sized window that allows for the room to be flooded with gentle sunlight every morning and a cool breeze during the evenings. I am thrilled at the prospect of locking my door and just being able to do whatever I want behind those doors, be it sleeping, gaming or chilling (plus points for doing activities in the nude - gives everything you do a whole lot of meaning). In other words, I get thrilled at the prospect of having a space that screams ME.
I’ve had so many ideas over the years from visiting my friends’ rooms and just brainstorming in general. I’m really looking forward to realize this setup in my head, whenever it may be.